It’s been about twenty-five years since my first marriage took its final breath and my new life moved forward into a new and unexplored land. It was a place and space that was dark, yet bountiful. It was a world fraught with painfully hard-fought for wisdom, gut wrenching enlightened understanding, and eventual transformative acceptance.

This discussion is about three things, energy, fear, and love. To begin, let’s refresh our memories by remembering that we are all eternal energy-filled consciousness that exists now and will continue to exist once this earthly incarnation is complete. Everything that exists both here on the earth plane, and in every other world or realm is energy as well. I do believe there is a certain God-consciousness that exists in all creatures. Yet, it seems only humans have the ability to contemplate, formulate, ruminate, and co-create along with our Mother/ Father God in order to live our best and most awakened and enlightened lives.

I’m sure many of us have heard the expression, “Whatever we resist, persists.” What does that mean and how does the act of resisting cause the very thing we wish to go away, to keep hanging around. In fact, it becomes even more overwhelming and takes up more and more of our time, mind space, and energy. To begin to understand this let’s start with a story.

Spiritual teachers often refer to our souls as “beings of light and love.” Therefore, I always wondered, “Since most things in this world have an opposite, are there also beings of darkness and hate, or more explicitly, darkness and fear?”

Here’s how I see it. When we were created by our Mother/ Father God, probably many eons ago, we were simply a being of light. We were pure energy, luminescent, translucent, and radiant. Since our Creator is pure unadulterated love, it was not possible that we could be anything other than love. Yet, as I have mentioned numerous times, this does not mean we are all replicas of each other as a soul. Therefore, it is not only the personality we assume during each lifetime that makes us unique. I have learned from my team of light that, though the DNA, so to speak, of our soul is only love, it is configured quite differently in each one of us. This inimitable blueprint is what determines our individual and natural gifts and talents that we bring with us during each incarnation. They can, of course, be shaped, honed, and developed further with the help and cooperation of our personality or human counterpart.

Let’s start this week’s blog with a short meditation

Close your eyes now and be sure that your feet are flat on the floor. Begin by taking a long deep breath in through your nose very slowly….hold it…and release it slowly through your mouth. With each breath open up to the healing energy all around you. Take another deep breath…hold it and slowly release it. One more time breathe in slowly and release it. As you exhale allow your shoulders, jaw, arms, legs, and your entire body to relax as inner peace begins to fill you.

It’s the end of the summer. You’ve rented a small cabin in the woods. It has all the amenities you need to feel comfortable and safe. There are some other cabins in the area, but you can’t see them or hear anything other than the sounds of nature You feel a wonderful sense of peace and tranquility that you’ve been longing for. Other family members will be joining you tomorrow but for tonight you are looking forward to the seclusion and quiet that has been hard to come by during an active, fun-filled summer.

This is an interesting topic for me to discuss. It is also a very personal one. Until I became an adult I really did not understand or could not even define the word empathy in a way that made sense to me. I certainly did not know what an empath was. When I started to realize that there was something different about me, other people did too. I was told at one point that I was an empath. The younger Dru, always looking for cool labels to define her and boost her ego’s need to tell the world who she is, was curious about what that actually meant. Maybe some of you are too. Maybe those of you reading or listening to this blog are wondering if you might also be an empath.

What is the definition of Resilience? The online dictionary definition is, the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; mental toughness, or the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

While contemplating those two definitions from a spiritual perspective, I had a sense that each of them was focusing on the different aspects of who we are: the physical human part and the beingness, or the soul. Yet, applying just one of those strategies, exclusive of the other, is bound to create inconsistency and an inability to sustain our desired resiliency. Why?

Everything seems off-kilter now. My world has shifted from its familiar, stable and anchoring axis to one of chaos, uncertainty and pain. The balance of energies that kept it rotating, evolving and harmonic has been lost. The central matriarch in our family has removed her physical self, and has left only her spirit and soul behind. An apparition of a new normal continues to peek out from behind and within the shadows of death, only to be forced back in amidst torrents of tears, and the insurmountable anguish of sadness and sorrow.

It was a glorious Sunday morning in August at Steve’s sister’s house in Locust Valley. My husband’s family members had gathered for an end of summer bash. As I sipped my piping hot coffee, and allowed the warmth to sooth me, I was reminded of how lucky we all were to be together. Enveloped in sweet gratitude, my eyes began softly gazing at my surroundings. Beyond the lovely outdoor breakfast nook where we sat, a sprawling, backyard deck overlooked an endless expanse of green grass, flowers and many other varieties of flora. Nestled off to the side, among a few low hanging graceful trees was an unobtrusive little pond sporting a gentle, cascading fountain in the center. It was the perfect adornment to this picturesque, peaceful paradise.

“It’s time, we must go now.”

“Oh, um ok, uh . . . no, I’m not sure I’m ready,” the wary soul whispered, pulling back its energy.

“All the elements, all the stars and the planets, they are aligning. We must go now to make the final preparations and seal the sacred contracts. If we do not, the portal will close and all of your plans, your dreams and objectives will need full revision.”

The one called Solaris, her soul-name beyond and beneath all lifetimes, nodded her head slowly in deference and acceptance. For the most part, there was no turning back. This is what she wanted. Of course, she knew free will was a treasured gift in the other world, but it could be a deadly curse as well.

It was unusually warm and sultry for a mid-spring day. The azure blue skies and the waning, golden sun of late afternoon beckoned hauntingly, drawing me to the beautiful expansive shore of northern Long Island. Almost in a trance, I grabbed my beach chair, car keys and headed out.

The air, the water, boats gliding along the horizon and the lazy warm sun were all mesmerizing. I could see tiny bait fish taking flight, obviously in response to being hunted by larger ones. The tide was receding, so I planted myself as close to the water as I could. The calm surf lapped along the shoreline as a flock of gulls floated upon it and dove beneath its surface in search of unsuspecting crabs to fill their bellies. My eyelids were heavy, and I didn’t resist, closing them and falling into a peaceful, salty slumber.

Before long I awakened to a voice that I thought had called my name. Looking around I didn’t see anyone I knew. I shrugged my shoulders, stretched my legs and opened my eyes more fully, taking in the beauty and tranquility of this sacred place once again.

Last week we began our discussion about our team of light by talking about spirit guides. This week we will continue that conversation by exploring the angelic realm, the different categories of angels, how they are both similar and different from spirit guides, and how they can help us. Most of us probably have our own definition of what an angel is from whatever particular spiritual upbringing we had or didn’t have. Perhaps we haven’t even given much thought to angels and how they can help enhance our physical experience or assist us in remembering our true nature as an infinite soul.

From my work with the angelic realm as well as what I have learned from the experiences of others, here’s what I believe. An angel is a celestial, nonphysical being who is an egoless messenger from God. They are different from spirit guides in that they have never incarnated on earth, so they never had an ego. They do, however, have different energies that seem to me like individual personalities depending on their specialty. Their main purpose is to bring us messages from our Creator. They are similar to our spirit guides because they too provide guidance to help us evolve and grow on our spiritual journey as a soul. Yet unlike spirit guides who are still on their own evolutionary journey, angels are extraordinary beings of pure light and love born to assist in the journey of all souls.

I often use the term, Team of Light, when talking about receiving assistance from the spirit world as we try to navigate the challenges and adversities of the physical experience. There are two major categories of helpers that I believe make up our team. The first is spirit guides and the second is angels. They both are committed to guiding us, teaching us, helping us fulfill our life purpose, and delivering messages from our Creator. There are differences between the two. For this week’s blog I will discuss only spirit guides, simply because covering both would be too long. Angels will be a topic for another time.

I think it is important for me to explain that I am sharing my experiences with my own team of light. We are all individual souls with a human counterpart and together, those two parts of us, interpret and relate to our team differently. Various guides may have distinct styles as well. If we want to get to know our guides and angels, we must invite them into our life. They are bound by and must honor our free will always. They may try to orchestrate synchronistic experiences that help us become aware of them. Yet only we can actively ask for their help so that we can remember them and allow them to guide us during our earthly journey. Spirit guides are souls who have lived on earth before, so they understand the difficulties and joys we all experience here. They have evolved to a point where they may not need to incarnate anymore and have taken on the role of teacher and guide for those of us still doing so.

As I stare at the blank computer screen, trying to uncover what my team of light and my soul want me to write about, my thoughts keep drifting back to the night before. My husband and I met some friends at a local beach to watch the 4th of July fireworks. It was a beautiful evening. The sea was calm, and the skies were still trying to blow away the clouds that had insisted on spewing buckets of rainwater for the last several days. Yet even the clouds were soft and wispy as they peacefully drifted across the heavens, allowing the light of the sun peek out and dance upon the waves as it slowly descended into the night sky.

As we edged closer to the start of the fireworks, more and more families with lots of children arrived contributing to the laughter and squeals from tiny voices as they played in the surf and tossed beach balls on the sand. Life was good and everything seemed to be in perfect order in that peaceful present moment. Finally, the last hurrah of the setting sun allowed it to slip beneath the horizon and the beach was dark and poised with anticipation. The fireworks were spectacular. We all watched as small shooting lights rose up from the shoreline and exploded into a dazzling display of color that looked like millions of tiny sparkling stars. We all became children in that moment mesmerized and lost in the wonder and magic all around us.

I’m sure most of us have heard that to be inspired means “to be in spirit.” What does it mean to be in spirit? For me it means to be in a state of expanded awareness where the veil that separates us from the space where all knowledge, wisdom and truth exists, falls away. The spirit world is not necessarily a place but a level of consciousness that is made possible by the shedding of our physical body and stepping fully into the embodiment of our soul’s light. Without the thinking mind, with all its neuroses, expectations, and fears, we are free to manifest our truest, most authentic selves. Our incessant, random, and often nonsensical thoughts can block out or obscure our inspired ideas and our creative nature that is part of our heritage as a unique child of the Universe and God.

Yet, here on the earth plane, we are not free of the monkey mind, we call our ego, that mindlessly jumps from one thought to the next. That annoying, snarky, and controlling part of us almost never stops to pause, look around and notice what beautiful and existential truths might exist in the mind’s peripheral vision, just beyond the limitations of mortal thought. It’s too busy looking for the next tree branch or thought to grab onto in its quest to go absolutely nowhere. However, it is in that sacred space and expanded awareness where we can access the inspiration that will allow us to create the life we came here to manifest.

This week’s blog is sort of a continuation of last week’s entitled, Being the Light. In that discussion, we asked the questions, “What does it mean to be on a spiritual path and are some of us on one and others are not?” We learned that we are all on a spiritual path regardless of whether we are aware that we are or not. This week we ask the question, “So, why should we be aware of our spiritual path and what are our reasons for pursuing our spiritual growth?”

Like everything else we experience in the physical world we can either view it from the ego’s perspective of, “What’s in it for me, or the soul’s perspective, “What’s in it for us as one unified whole?” In the former we are operating from a level of consciousness that’s focus is on me, myself, and I, nothing more. The latter’s focus is on the collective we, always aware that whatever choices we make have an impact on every other soul, incarnate or discarnate.

So, let us look at the first one where our ego is directing our lives and we choose to focus on a spiritual path because it will benefit ourselves. The ego is rarely grateful for what is happening in the present moment and is always searching for anything that it thinks will bring it happiness. Focusing on a spiritual path is just another attempt by the ego to find a way to be successful and content in this confusing sometimes chaotic world.

Let us now take this precious moment to pause and enter the sacred temple of our soul’s light. We are going to take a few deep, cleansing breaths and relax. If you listening to this meditation, close your eyes, if it feels comfortable. Breathe in slowly through your nose, hold it, then exhales very slowly though your mouth. Take another deep breath, hold it, as you exhale allow your shoulders to soften and try to notice the settling feeling envelop you as you begin to relax. All that exists in this moment is the deep breath in and the slow breath out. Everything else simply fades into the background.

Now, imagine you are at the edge of a dense forest. All around are tall trees and thick brush. If you look up all you see is the wide canopy created by the branches and leaves of the trees. It is dark where you are and shadows from the canopy dance all around you. You feel safe, protected, and comforted here. Now imagine, you are looking out from the shadowy darkness of the forest and towards the warmth and light of the spiritual sun. The sky is blue, the grass is like a soft, green carpet, and colorful wildflowers are swaying gently in the warm breeze. When you look closely within the light cascading down from the giant fiery orb above, you see a vague outline of a beautiful being of light standing by a trickling, meandering stream. It is beckoning you to join it there. You are aware that the magnificent being is your soul and you feel comforted by its kind and gentle aura. You feel the loving energy that it extends to you and accept it with an open heart. Yet, you still feel a bit of trepidation and fear.

What does it mean to be on a spiritual path? Are some of us on one and others are not? The answers to both questions are simple. To exist, whether incarnate or discarnate, is to be on a spiritual path. We are all on a spiritual journey here on earth because we are spiritual beings having a physical experience. Some only seem like they are not spiritually directed because their awareness is perpetually sleeping in the dark shadows of untruths, or under the deceptive illusions of the physical world. Our soul’s main objectives are to evolve and express its Divine nature. That nature, of course, is love in its purest, most authentic manifestation, and its expression is in radiating its divine light.

When our soul makes the decision to merge with a physical form and take on the density of this mortal experience, it does so with the purpose of learning how to mindfully control and utilize its intense power. It must discover how to direct its energy for the betterment and evolution of itself, as well as that of the “Sacred One.” We are all part of that Sacred Unity. We are committed to each other in a way that is quite impossible to fully comprehend. Yet, when we become aware of our inter-connectedness, we know that failing to assist others in their spiritual development means inhibiting the progression of our own.

What does it mean to accept ourselves completely? Can we answer, “Yes,” to the question, “Do I fully accept and appreciate myself?” I think many if us would respond, “It depends.” Am I having a good hair day? Did I lose the 15 pesky, pandemic pounds I put on? Did I get the promotion at work or meet my monthly quotas? Is my bank account hefty, and my home the envy or all who walk through my door? If we can answer, “Yes,” to whatever the conditions are, that qualify us to offer self-acceptance to ourselves, we will feel proud and satisfied with who we are, at least according to how the world perceives us.

Yet, of all the things I just mentioned, will any of them matter at all when we are standing before the spiritual doorway that will journey us back home. When our time here is done, will we be concerned about any of the things that we often view as preconditions to our self-love and self-acceptance? I think most of us will agree that we will not be the least bit concerned. Why? The soul is what goes home, not the ego.

Most of us experience some level of emotional trauma while on our journey here on the earth plane. That trauma can be caused by personal experiences from childhood or adulthood like neglect, abuse, or violence. It can also be caused by constantly watching the news that reports daily on the atrocities that happen in our world.

What exactly is emotional or psychological trauma? WWW.PTSD.Va.Gov defines it this way:

Emotional and psychological trauma are the result of extraordinarily stressful events that shatter your sense of security, making you feel helpless in a dangerous world. Psychological trauma can leave you struggling with upsetting emotions, memories, and anxiety that will not go away.

I am not a mental health professional so, of course I am not speaking to you in that capacity. If you are experiencing serious emotional or psychological trauma, it is best to seek out therapy from a licensed practitioner.

Just writing the title of this blog brings up angst for me. Having been raised in a family, and more specifically by a mom whose motivation was always about achieving perfection, I quiver when I even contemplate the word. If we as a family unit, or the ten of us individually could not pull off the perfection thing, at one time or another, then at least we knew not let anyone suspect that Burroughs were not perfect. Personally, as a child, I believed Mom hook, line, and sinker when she told us Burroughs were perfect! “Everyone else,” she told us, “had problems, poor souls, but not Burroughs!” Somehow, we found the magic potion to make us immune to the failings and flaws that plagued the rest of the world.

She had us convinced, or at least I was convinced of this fantastical truth in my youth. I was so proud to be part of an elite group who had the perfection gene running through our blood. Of course, the day eventually came when I woke up and realized I was not perfect after all. I was just like everyone else. You may be thinking, that must have been a devastating moment. Yet, in fact, the opposite was true. I was so glad to let go of that enormous pressure, and just be human, rather than trying to be superhuman. However, there was still a nagging question. I knew the human Drusilla was not perfect, but what about my soul?