As mortal human beings with a finite amount of time in the material world during any particular lifetime, we often ponder these questions: “What happens to us after our physical body dies? Do we continue to live on, or do we cease to be?” Most, if not all religions or spiritual teachings believe that the consciousness that we are continues on after physical death. All biological forms eventually run out of “chi” or energy and may get sick or simply die of natural causes. The soul, most of us believe, will continue to exist somewhere, in some other realm or dimension. When we lose someone, we love to physical death, the most important answers we want to know are, where are they and are they ok? So, to answer these questions we need to communicate with them.

When the holidays make their entrance with the coming of Thanksgiving every November, we may have many emotions that burst onto the scene. We may begin reminiscing about wonderful, joyful memories with family and friends over the years, or we may look back with grief and sadness about the happy holidays that never were. For some of us we may have experienced the physical loss of a loved one over the past year and look forward to the holidays with dread, wishing we could just fast forward our lives into the new year.

We are both human and Divine. We are all spiritual beings having a physical experience. Part of our mission here is to learn how to integrate the two parts of our nature in order to fulfill our life purpose as a soul. These are things that most of us on a spiritual path know and embrace as truth. We usually spend our days checking our sometimes-fearful ego, the mortal human part that is sometimes bent on disregarding the spiritual side of life, focusing on personal self-gratification, and finding drama or negativity in just about everything. We also, of course, have our soul, our immortal part, that sees beauty blessings, and opportunities to grow and learn in everything, even the things most of us would describe as dark nights of the soul, difficulties, or adversities. It is keenly aware that everything that happens to us during an incarnation is for the benefit of our soul’s evolution. It can be a constant struggle trying to stay in the middle instead of compartmentalizing our lives into, “my spiritual life” and “my physical life.”

As we all know, those of us experiencing a physical incarnation on the earth plane are far more than the human form we inhabit. Our natural and eternal home is in a world without drama, pain, illness or death. Our true nature, our immortal nature is pure energy and Divine love. Do we have to come here at all and endure the conflict, suffering, illness and death? No, we don’t! It is fully our choice! Then why in the world would we take on such a difficult mission? Why would we leave a world where nothing, but peace and unconditional love abounds, and come to a world where both of those blissful qualities and states of being are sometimes difficult to come by. It’s a conundrum, for sure.

After reading this quote, those of us on an ardent spiritual path may think, “Well, of course I want to avoid the darkness and always live in the light. Isn’t that the whole purpose of successfully living a spiritually directed life?”

The answer is more complicated than a simple yes or no. Of course, we want our choices, whether thoughts, words, or actions, to be made with the intention to bring more love into the world. That is our main purpose for coming here and the pathway that will lead us to the full evolution of our souls. However, this world has its overabundance of darkness that tends to permeate our lives from time to time. It’s hard to avoid it. The darkness and the light coexist in an endless matrix of love that cannot be severed. If one of us shuns the light and turns fully to the darkness, we all suffer.

Why is it that humans are so inclined to judge one another? What makes it so easy for us to see the faults in others, but often can’t recognize faults in ourselves? I think the answer is pretty simple. I think most of us can’t seem to find the courage to explore ourselves truthfully and confront the shadow parts of who we are. We don our outer masks in hopes that no one will see our faults, failings, and imperfections, momentarily believing we are alone in our flaws and weaknesses.

I’ve written about this topic once before, but it was more about how stress or adversity can sometimes overwhelm us to the point of abandoning our inner world and our meditation practice. However, what about times that are just so fun, hectic, and all-consuming that we simply forget to make time each day to go there? A lot of us find it much easier to stay on track during the winter months. The kids are in school, vacations and family parties slow to a bare minimum and we tend to stick to our schedules much more easily. Taking our twenty minutes or so to meditate and connect with our team of light is pretty doable and we feel connected to both the physical world and the spiritual world simultaneously. That creates a comfortable balance and a better ability to handle stress and remain focused on what’s really important from a spiritual perspective.

Unless we are a highly advanced soul who has evolved beyond needing to take on another earthly journey, we come here again and again to grow, learn lessons, plant seeds of love, and remember our true identity. I believe, from what I have experienced in my sacred temple within, we have a choice whether to return to the earth plane or not. Normally once an incarnation is complete, we need to take some time to assess our previous life and determine for ourselves, with the help of our spirit guides, where we triumphed and where we did not. There is no great tribunal on the other side who will judge us and then dish out an appropriate punishment or restitution. The only one who might judge us initially, once we make the transition, is us. Of course, after we have assimilated back into our true home, we realize that judgement is not helpful, only a commitment and resolution to learn our lessons better and bring more love to the earth plane the next time, will help. We can evolve in spirit, but it is a much slower process than if we take on the enormous challenges on the earth. So, eventually most souls make a conscious choice to do it all again.

For some of you this topic may be familiar because I talk about it often. Love, forgiveness and unity defines my faith and who am, or at least who I try to be as a human soul. It also defines the Burrough family, my family, and has since the early days of our childhood and to this day. As I’ve mentioned numerous times my mom and dad came from very difficult childhoods. They were both only children with no inspirational or selfless parent to put them first, at least it seemed that way to me. They were two lonely souls and in my mom’s case, she was a very emotionally and physically abused little girl trying to be perfect in order to gain her parent’s love and approval which never came at that time.

If you read my previous blog about empathy, then you know that empathy is our ability to understand and share the pain of another. When someone is suffering, whether it’s a close family member, friend, or even a stranger and we are able to really connect to what they are feeling on a visceral level, that is empathy. Most of us are capable of empathy on some level. For those of us who are empaths, we experience empathy in a way that feels like “empathy on steroids.” We usually enter the pain so deeply that it can be unhealthy for us if we’re not careful. It’s important to consciously separate the pain of others from our own. Otherwise, we can take on that pain as our own and it can be very confusing and tumultuous.

One of the hardest things for me to define is the difference between sadness and sorrow. They seem like two words meaning the same thing, but I knew they felt different and due to my inquisitory nature, that must know the answer to everything, I needed to explore this. The dictionary definition between the two doesn’t help much either. It says that sadness is a state of unhappiness while sorrow is a sense of deep distress, disappointment, or sadness. Then, sorrow is just a more intense feeling of sadness. So, there’s not much difference or is there?

This is going to be a tough topic to discuss because, though I’ve experienced this situation more than a few times, I had no idea how I ended up there, and I’m not entirely sure how I found the oasis I was seeking, and eventually the way out. Yet, I do know that even the most devout and pious among us find ourselves there at times. It feels shocking to have spent so many years with our feet firmly planted on our spiritual path and then to the find ourselves completely lost and weeping as we look around and see nothing familiar and so little spiritual comfort or hope. We tend to feel like some kind of an imposter who only pretends to be forging forward in our spiritual evolution while at the same time assisting and helping others to leave the barren wasteland of spiritual uncertainty and find their own beautiful garden path that leads to truth.

If my rather inconsistent memory serves me correctly, it was a beautiful, sunny, summer day. I remember the purple buds on the Hosta bushes, that separated the grassy part of our backyard from the forest-like part filled with white birch and oak trees, were abundant and just right for popping. I don’t know why I was so obsessed with the barely audible sound of those blooms softly exploding when I squished them between my thumb and forefinger, but I was, much to my dad’s chagrin. That particular day, however, there was something else that distracted me from one of my favorite pastimes. Mom had just gathered us all together to give us some sad news.

What a great question right? Many of us have felt that way one time or another. Those of us on a spiritual path believe from the very core of our beings that we are an infinite soul who can never die. Believing that there is an omnipotent and perfect energy made of only love that created us, we thus understand that our spiritual DNA is also perfect love. Therefore, we are organically and undisputedly perfect divine love as well. We also trust completely that it is our soul that will continue to live on eternally once this incarnation is complete. Finally, we understand that in order to experience this mortal, finite experience we must have a physical body that will offer us a home for our soul during our time here.

As most of us know, we are both human and divine. In the spirit world we do not have the challenge of obtaining and sustaining harmony and cooperation with a physical, and biological form, as we do here on the earth plane. Many of us sometimes live a sort of double life. We morph back and forth between the part of us that is intently focused on the material world, and the part that is immortal and focused on things of a more ethereal and spiritual nature.

“The soul is created in a place between time and eternity. With its highest powers it touches Eternity, with its lower time.” Eckhart Tolle

The concept of time as we know it during our physical incarnation, seems absolutely real. We wake up at a certain time as the sun rises and go to sleep and a later time when it descends. We check the time and date on our cell phone, computer, or watch to make sure we are not late for appointments, or so that we don’t miss important birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays. Every year we celebrate the day we came into the physical realm and announce to the world that we are one year older. When someone tells us time is an illusion, we will most likely push back at that idea as we look in the mirror and see the physical changes in our face and body.

The topic of self-love seems to come up over and over for many of us. Why do we think this is so? For me, I was taught to believe that “It’s better to give than receive.” I thought loving myself was selfish or self-absorbed. If I tried to share my accomplishments because I was proud of them, I was made to feel as if I was conceited or “full of myself.” However, through my Catholic education, I was also taught to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” That seemed like an oxymoron.

If I don’t love myself wholly and completely, then I can’t love my neighbor that way either. I can’t tell you how many times I heard the words, “Who do you think you are,” from my father, as if who I am was not as great as my innocent, young mind thought. My father was a good man, but he learned those phrases and attitudes from his own childhood. I don’t believe he was trying to hurt me. I think, what I said or did, triggered something in him and those words were his automatic response. For the record, my childhood was wonderful, memorable, and fun. My parents were both only children and endured monstrously difficult childhoods. Yet, they raised eight children around the parameters of love, forgiveness, and unity. They did a terrific job, and the best they could. Yet, like the rest of us, they were not perfect.

I remember asking this question myself many years ago. Though my Catholic education is the wonderful foundation of my faith, I always felt there was much more truth I needed to find. I didn’t know where to start, or where I was supposed to end up. I was sure I needed to be taught by great spiritual teachers but had no idea how to find them. I felt like a pre-school student wishing I already had my PHD.

Spiritual teachers can help immensely. Yet, a good spiritual teacher takes our hand and leads us back home to ourselves. They can guide us and share what they have learned themselves. Yet, just like good parents, they empower us and help us to believe in ourselves and remember that we are so much more than we think we are. They push us out of the nest and help us find our spiritual wings. They do not encourage us to depend on them. The best teachers I studied, guided me to understand that our path to awakening and enlightenment is not outside of us to be discovered, but rests within us to be remembered.

I know I’ve written about this in the past. However, it seems to be a topic that is never far from our minds as we, at one time or another, navigate the difficult and painful pathway through grief. Losing someone we love to physical death can result in an emptiness and lack of closure that can be hard to find. We think about them all the time and wonder if they’re ok. Where are they? What are they doing? Are they happy? Do they know what’s happening in our lives even though they no longer reside here physically?

This is a tough question for many of us. Unless we have a calling to be a spiritual teacher, healer, minister, rabbi, or a priest, for example, we may struggle with finding the answer. Living here on the earth plane often feels like our spiritual life and physical life are separate from each other or compartmentalized. Unless where we work is of a spiritual nature, we often don’t think about our soul and how we can fulfill our spiritual purpose doing what we’re doing.