The Illusion of Time
It was unusually warm and sultry for a mid-spring day. The azure blue skies and the waning, golden sun of late afternoon beckoned hauntingly, drawing me to the beautiful expansive shore of northern Long Island. Almost in a trance, I grabbed my beach chair, car keys and headed out.
The air, the water, boats gliding along the horizon and the lazy warm sun were all mesmerizing. I could see tiny bait fish taking flight, obviously in response to being hunted by larger ones. The tide was receding, so I planted myself as close to the water as I could. The calm surf lapped along the shoreline as a flock of gulls floated upon it and dove beneath its surface in search of unsuspecting crabs to fill their bellies. My eyelids were heavy, and I didn’t resist, closing them and falling into a peaceful, salty slumber.
Before long I awakened to a voice that I thought had called my name. Looking around I didn’t see anyone I knew. I shrugged my shoulders, stretched my legs and opened my eyes more fully, taking in the beauty and tranquility of this sacred place once again.
“It must have been a dream,” I thought.
Feeling more rested, I decided to take a walk along the shore. Before long, I lifted my head and looked before me. A few yards away I saw an elderly woman with grey hair wearing a long, loose kimono-looking dress. Her gait was tentative and gingerly. Walking beside her was a young girl who appeared to be about 17. She was holding the older lady’s hand as it if to steady and support her. There seemed to be an iridescent radiance encircling the two, and I was oddly drawn to both of them. They looked familiar or maybe I just sensed a familiarity since I could not yet see their faces.
They stopped in front of three beach chairs. The younger women helped the old woman to sit and proceeded to plop herself down with youthful abandon. I caught a glimpse of her face and was astonishingly stunned. She didn’t just look familiar, she was. She looked exactly like me when I was her age. I could have sworn it was me!
“How could this be,” I questioned. “Maybe she just resembles me,” I surmised.
I decided to get a closer look. I walked toward the two woman, unaware that I was rudely gawking at them. I stopped in front of them my mouth agape. I glanced from one to the other and back again. They both smiled as if they understood my bewilderment and allowed me my moment of astonishment and confusion without uttering a word. The young woman had my eyes but so did the older woman who appeared to be about 85 yrs old. They didn’t just look like my eyes. They absolutely were my eyes. Their smiles were my smile. They both had a tiny scar on their forehead like the one I got when I was a baby from falling off my changing table.
Finally, the older woman lifted her arm and gestured for me to sit in the third chair. I moved it so that I was facing both of them. Wide eyed with query written all over my face, I silently and desperately implored them to explain what was happening. The teenage “me” tilted her head and nodded toward the old woman as if deferring to her.
“Yes,” the old woman began. “We are indeed all the same person, the same soul. Most people are not aware of the truth I am about to share with you. However, this is happening so that you may receive one more piece of the whole truth in order to live more authentically and purposefully. You see, linear time as people understand it is an illusion. The past and the future do not exist. We are taught very young to see the past as something that happened and is over and the future as something we will arrive at. This is actually not true. The past, the present and the future are only words used describe different present moments. In reality they are all happening simultaneously. However, through our individuation of consciousness, we believe that what we are experiencing right now is all there is.
“Wow,” I responded. “I’ve always believed that time is an illusion but the concept is so hard to understand or explain to myself let alone anyone else.”
“Imagine a large mansion,” the older me continued. “The mansion represents the present moment. Within each room you are living your life at different ages and stages but all at the same time. So each version of you is experiencing different versions of the present moment all at the same time.
I, 64 yr. old me, must have looked pretty perplexed because, 85 yr. old me, tilted her head back as if to try to find a way to make it clearer to “me”. (Confusing, I know.)
“Do you remember,” older Dru asked, “when you had a dream a year ago about your son George? You, the 64 year old you, saw him on the side of the road when you were driving and stopped. He was the five year old George not the 31 year old he is today. You both recognized each other and were both trying to understand. He didn’t get why you looked so old, and you didn’t understand how you could be with him again now, as a 5 yr. old when you were 64. You woke up feeling the dream was absolutely real because it was. It was a moment of amalgamated time and was your first step in recognizing this truth and being able to make practical use of it.”
“Yes, “I” answered. It was unfathomably real, but I still didn’t quite comprehend what I was supposed to learn from it.
“Do you also also remember when you were in your 20’s and you suddenly felt tired for no reason at all? It was because the older you discovered at that same present moment this truth, and that you could tap into the energy of the younger you and it would help you through your workout. Since it was happening at the same moment, the younger you felt the energy shift as did you.”
“I remember,” piped in my 17 yr. old self. “It’s ok, though, I don’t mind sharing energy when necessary.”
Older me smiled caringly and compassionately to young Dru and I, 64 yr. old me, felt suddenly emotional and unconditionally loved by me. It was getting very strange.
“So, here’s the final piece of this mystifying, puzzling truth, older Dru continued. “Memory and imagination are the same thought energy. We just experience them from different sides of the illusion. If you are remembering something you are experiencing something you think is over. Yet the version of you that you are remembering is also that version that imagined where you are at the present moment. If you imagine something that will happen in the future you are catching a memory of your future self. So, since everything that exists, has existed, and will exist happens simultaneously, and since life is malleable and filled with many possibilities, you can access the highest version of yourself experiencing your highest and best reality through your imagination. You may think you are imagining forward but you are actually receiving the memory of that version of you that exists right now. That version of you as well as others are sending thoughts to you and it’s up to you which thoughts you choose and thus, what future you create.”
I closed my eyes and tried to grasp all that I was hearing. It made complete sense but I couldn’t put it all together in my mind and come up with coherent thoughts to explain what I had just heard. It was all just feelings and a knowingness that this was indeed true. It was important and I needed to remember it and live in the present moment knowing my best life already exists right there. I needed and wanted to hear more. I opened my eyes. Somehow, I was back in my own beach chair alone. I looked all around me. The two women, both old Dru and young Dru, were gone. Was that real or did I dream it?
Then . . . out of the corner of my eye, I saw three little girls and a mom and dad. I gasped! The littlest of the three, about 5 yrs. old, turned and looked at me. She smiled that familiar smile, her eyes twinkling and reflecting like a mirror. She waved and I heard her mom say, “Dru, it’s time for you and your sisters to have lunch.”