What is Soulful Kindness
It would be wise for all of us to have one main rule in our homes for anyone who enters our sacred space. The rule is simple. The only thing we ask is that people bring their kindness with them when they walk through the door. If they mindlessly or carelessly left it home, and if they should bring with them their bad mood, anger, or hostility and take it out on us or anyone who should be there, we will most likely ask them to leave. It may sound harsh but, creating a place filled with peaceful energy and joy is important. We want everyone coming to our home to feel a sense of tranquility. Once we put this rule in place, we will eventually notice that, by the law of attraction, we no longer attract people into our homes who would even think about being unkind.
In some Native American spiritual traditions, they utilize what is called a “Burden Basket.” In earlier days they would leave a basket outside of the entrance to their teepee. Before anyone entered, they were asked to leave their burdens in the basket. It was not ok to unload or heap all of their problems onto the person or persons who lived there. The occupants, of course, could ask their visitor how they were, and if anything was bothering them. In that case, they were free to discuss what was aching inside of them or troubling their hearts.
This does not mean that when we are struggling, we should not reach out to friends and family who love us and want to be there for us when we need them. However, when we assault them unexpectedly and unleash torrents of pain and frenzied, inconclusive dramas, they may not be in an emotional place where they are able to help us. Perhaps, our consistent, non-professional therapist is going through a dark night of their soul as well, and our problems spewed at them only serve to intensify their own pain. Therefore, if we do choose to reach out to someone for help, or a strong shoulder and a compassionate ear, we should ask first if it’s a good time. If we decide we are unable or unwilling to share our struggles with another human soul, what do we do? We can simply come back home to ourselves for the love, kindness, and wisdom we are seeking.
It is important for us to remember that kindness is something that emerges from a life dedicated to love, compassion, and forgiveness. It is a soul quality that is a reflection of what lies in one’s heart. It’s easy to be kind when we are surrounded by kind people. It’s not so easy when the people in our midst, even our own snarky egos, are spewing harsh words, foul language, and accusations of false perceptions, or even authentic ones. Being kind is a choice just as being unkind is.
If we find ourselves lost in a cloud of darkness and despair, and feel a desperate need to unleash it somewhere, anywhere just to be free of it, we need to hit the pause button. Entering our sacred temple in prayer and meditation is probably the best choice at that moment. However, during those times, it can be very difficult to calm the mind enough to get there. So, what can we do to break free of our dark thoughts and feelings of depression and despair? The choice, of course, is kindness and self-acceptance. At that moment, trying to push away the unwanted agonizing emotions is most likely not the way to make them dissipate. Perhaps, we need to acknowledge them and sit with them for a moment. We can try to summon some inspired, loving thoughts from the authentic awareness that we are, and the beautiful being of light that defines us and never leaves us. We can be for ourselves the kind, loving, compassionate and accepting friend that is always willing and anxious to help us though our passing storms. It’s always a good idea to ask our team of light to give us a hand with our efforts.
“It’s ok,” we can say to our suffering selves. “Your tears are understandable. Your emotions are real and can be rising up in you so that you can learn from them. Everything is part of your soul’s plan so that you can grow and evolve. You don’t have to understand the lessons right now. Yet, you can still be willing to allow them to teach you and trust in time they will. Just open the door to your awareness and consciousness and step confidently inside. That is who you are! It is what is real, genuine, and never changes. That inner temple is where hope is abundant and self-forgiveness is the elixir that will help you weather this fleeting yet painful moment. Just know you are loved by your creator, your team of light, and by the infinite oneness that connects us to all other divine souls. However, you are human as well. We together are both human and divine.”
Ok, I know that’s a stretch and a mouthful of sweetness and positivity to be able to shower ourselves with during our times of crisis and confusing sadness that sometimes, has no cause or reason. Yet, with practice, we learn to summon the sort of kindness from within that is life changing and transcendent. It’s a moment to experience the beingness that we are. It is also an instant to remember the infinite love that we are, and at the same time be compassionate for the humanness that sometimes momentarily derails us from the tracks of our “Soul train.”
Like all other gifts of spirit, we cannot give them away to others if they don’t first exist within us. Being kind and gentle with ourselves, especially at times when we screw up badly and make mistakes that make us cringe with regret and remorse, can be challenging. Regret is an understandable response, but it is not useful in the forward evolution of our souls. Regret keeps us stuck in the past, reliving moments that we can’t change, and perpetuating our suffering. Self-forgiveness, self-correction and even apologies, and restitution toward those we may have wronged or hurt is a more productive response.
The point of power is always in the present moment, not the illusionary past or future. Sometimes, mentally projecting outward toward the potential consequences of our difficult experiences and poor choices can be overwhelming. We can rarely predict what will happen anyway, so why go there? All any of us really have is the present moment. The choices we make in the eternal now shape our destiny. What better choice is there than loving kindness? It doesn’t have to be the big things in our lives that build our kindness muscles. Sometimes it is the small seemingly insignificant things that can light us up and help us remember our beauty and magnificence.
A genuine smile and quiet “Good morning” offered to someone passing you on your morning walk at the park can be a most needed gift to that person at that moment. Holding the door for a person leaving a store with abundant packages in their arms can be a gesture that reminds a temporarily disillusioned someone that there is still kindness and generosity in the world. Even simply being a silent, consistent, and loving light in the darkness and chaos that often seems unbearable, can usher in the positive changes we all wish to see in the world. Whatever we give to the world comes back to us multiplied. So, the more we mindfully practice kindness each day, the more abundant will be the kind people that will fill our lives.
Together, as one, we can move our world closer to a place of unity, benevolence, compassion, and love. Together we are strong! Together we are fearless, powerful, and utterly capable of bringing God’s glorious heaven to our beautiful earth. We got this! We truly do!