Professors Stress and Anxiety, we welcome you!
That is a strange title, isn’t it? Why in the world would we want to welcome stress or anxiety? Perhaps a better question to ask is, “What is the benefit of slamming the door on them in hopes they’ll just quietly go away?”
“Well, maybe because they are not too pleasant to be around,” we may respond.
They are both, of course, chaotic characters, disheveled, unpredictable, sometimes abusive, and always difficult to understand. We fear their unpleasant attributes might rub off on us, and we will become lost in that breathless, palpating world. We fear we might become isolated and alone, because no one wants to be around anything or anyone that makes them feel uncomfortable and anxious.
Perhaps there is a different way we can look at these unsavory personalities. They both represent a part of us we would rather avoid. Each of us, at one time or another, have experienced these emotions. They make us feel jittery, fearful, uncertain, and even immobilized. We may judge ourselves for falling victim to their toxic lure once again. We struggle against their intense grip and berate ourselves for being weak and unable to escape their powerful hold on us. Eventually, we may accept defeat and simply try to ignore them. We wait it out and hope that they will get bored and turn their miserable attention toward someone else. We cower and recoil into a shadowy corner somewhere, until we hear the door close, and we are sure they are finally gone. We then jump to our feet, slam the dead bolt into position, and pray they have disappeared forever.
However, what did we learn from our time imprisoned by these two unwanted bedfellows. We did not even take the time to ask them what they wanted or why they showed up. We fell into unconsciousness in a futile attempt to push them away. As the saying goes, “Whatever we resist, persists.” Instead of resisting our uncomfortable feelings, we could simply invite them in and ask them, what brought them to our door. We just might find that they only wanted to be accepted and recognized. They did not show up to hurt or annihilate us. In fact, most of the time, they are not even sure why they target us.
When we finally stop trying to avoid stress and anxiety, they lose their power over us. We realize they are just feelings nothing more nothing less. However, we also begin to understand that they trigger our voracious ego, that thrives on negative and fearful emotions to stay alive and relevant. In its attempt to control just about everything, it finds little peace or satisfaction. It can also cause us to disconnect with the wisdom, comfort, and peaceful energy of our soul.
So, what is the answer? How do we coexist with these two persistent intruders and not allow them to upend our world repeatedly? I probably sound like a broken record, but the answer, of course, lies in our awareness. Stress and anxiety may quietly, slink into our life, but once there they cannot hide, nor do they wish to. We are fully aware that they are with us because we can feel the seat of our soul teetering as they try to toss us headfirst into their chaos of worry and fear. If we succumb to their bluster, we just might tumble, and the ego awakens. Yet if we refuse to turn our power over to them and expand our soul’s fearless energy, we will stay settled and calm on our spiritual throne.
We can then summon the ego, as a loving parent would an unruly or frightened child. We can ask it what it is afraid of. It may begin to rant about anything and everything it fears has happened, is happening or will happen. It usually starts with the big stuff. We may lose our job, or we may get sick. We may become injured in a car crash or some other catastrophe and become disabled or worse. We fret and worry about are children even when things are going great. We lost someone we deeply loved to physical death, we are grieving and anxiously need to know if they are ok. We are inching closer to the end of this incarnation and we wonder if we are worthy of the paradise, we hope awaits us.
If we let the ego get it all out, it will most likely move on to more petty and trivial complaints. The neighbor’s dog is always barking, and it makes us stressed. Our coworker talks too loudly, we cannot concentrate, and we are afraid we will not get our work done. The deer population is exploding, and we just know they will eat our newly planted vegetables. We are too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too old, too young and on and on it goes.
Once our soul allows our terrified ego to share its conscious and sometimes unconscious fears, it can then respond gently and reassuringly, and validate its feelings of stress and anxiety. We can explain to our ego that it is part of us, and needs to be unified with our soul, so that it can feel soothed and safe. We can then offer our soul’s wisdom.
“What is being accomplished by all this endless worry, mostly about things you have little control over, we ask. “It’s important to understand that worry is simply a prayer for what you do not want,” we continue. “Like all other thoughts, it has energy and the capacity to draw to you exactly what you are worrying about. Having faith and trust in the divine design for our life is a much better response to adversity and stress. Those qualities will most likely help you let go, surrender and begin to see the bigger picture of our life.”
We can then explain that there are some actions we can take to shape the outcome of some things, at least to a certain extent. Yet, to calm the fear, anxiety, and stress, we must accept it as part of life here in the physical world, just as we would joy and happiness. If we view everything as good or bad, we will always be running from the perceived bad and pursuing the perceived good. Understanding that there are no good or bad circumstances, only opportunities to grow evolve and awaken to a higher level of consciousness, we may finally be able to embrace all aspects of this unpredictable life. To do that, it is important to say awake, stay present and aware of what we are feeling, and when the chaotic ego mind is losing its “you know what.” Then, we can nip in the bud, another unnecessary and fruitless bout with frantic Frick and Frack.
My amazing husband sent me a quote this week as he regularly does because he knows I love them, and love sharing them with you. So, I thought this would be a great way to end this blog.
“Once a wise man was asked, “What is the meaning of life?”
He replied, “Life itself has no meaning. Life is an opportunity to create meaning.”
So, let us grab the canvas of our lives, our paint brush, and paints, and begin creating the most colorful, meaningful and magnificent masterpiece the world has ever seen!