Guide to Mirror Work

What is mirror work? How can it help us create more self-love?

 Mirror Work was a method originally developed by inspirational teacher Louise Hay as a way of getting in touch with the inner self. The primary purpose of mirror work is to develop self-love, self-care, and a more meaningful relationship with others. By simply looking into the mirror for a certain amount of time each day and gently talking to yourself, you can foster a more compassionate and forgiving connection with yourself.

 How does it work?

 As I mentioned, many years ago I learned this practice from Louise Hay, and it has served me well many times in my life. We will most likely experience times in our lives when we feel we could have handled a situation better. During those times we might notice that snarky, judgmental voice in our heads saying very unkind things to ourselves. If you think about it, sometimes we say awful things to ourselves that we would never say to anyone else. Why are we willing to be cruel and hurtful to ourselves but not to others? That is quite a mystery, but the answer can simply be, “I don’t know, but it ends here.” That does not mean that the ego in our minds will not try again to judge us, but we will be ready. We will know how it operates and we will be armed and ready with heightened awareness along with self-compassion, self-confidence, and self-love.

So, the first thing mirror work does is to keep us mindful of when that voice says something like, “You’re such an idiot! What a stupid thing you did!” Then say out loud or silently something like, “Hey don’t talk to her or him that way. She’s not an idiot and she’s not stupid.” It sounds a little weird, I know. My husband often catches me talking to myself out loud and asks me what is going on. I simply say, “I’m being mean to myself again, so I needed to put an end to it.” He just smiles and does not think it is weird at all, well, maybe a little. Ha ha! It’s just me being me. I find saying it out loud is powerful and cannot be ignored. Then, if I feel the need, I head to the mirror and remind myself of how very much I am loved by me by offering lots of positive affirmations. Keep in mind an affirmation can be positive or negative. They are both powerful and both have consequences. If we say things like, “I am such a loser,” Boom! If we do not catch it in the act and self-correct by countering it with positivity, it could have negative effects. That thought form of energy will go out into the world and bring back people and experiences that will line up with energy of the same vibration. So, we should not be surprised if people show up in our lives who treat us the very same way, we treat ourselves. Treat ourselves with love, kindness and compassion and we will find the people around us do the same.

Here is the three Step Practice

 1.     Grab a hand-held mirror. If you do not have one, any mirror will do but a hand-held one gets you up close and personal with yourself. Try to find a time and place where you will not be disturbed.

2.     Hold your gaze. Look deeply into your eyes and hold your gaze right there. You might feel a little strange and uncomfortable, but this part is important. What you are trying to accomplish is to see yourself without judgement. You might start wanting to fix your hair or primp in some way, so you look better to yourself. Try to resist. Just connect with your essence by looking deeply into your eyes and just resting right there. You might begin feeling emotional. That is ok. Just let the experience be what it is.

3.     Say empowering affirmations Now begin saying some of your favorite affirmations to yourself beginning with, “I love you, your name! Say it several times. If you start to cry or feel emotional, it just means you are really feeling the sincerity of your words. From there say a few more affirmations like, “I am so strong and kind.” “I am worthy of so much love.” “I am enough.” “I make a difference every day, just by being me.”

Sometimes you can change it up by talking directly to yourself by using you are, instead of I am. It is just like talking to a close friend. Do whatever feels best for you. Be patient. It may not feel like anything is changing but it is. Stick with it. Make your mirror your best friend because in that mirror is your most treasured friend, YOU. Have a loving conversation with yourself whenever you are feeling sad, afraid, alone etc, and whenever you are feeling wonderful as well.

Here are some affirmations to choose from to get you started. Again, you can use I am, you are or both whenever it feels appropriate. Personally, I like both. However, the most powerful affirmations are those you create using your own words. You will have a chance to do that in the Mirror Work Form later.

• I am enough.

• I matter.

• Today I will learn and grow.

• I am beautiful.

• I have the power to change.

• I am loving and loveable.

• I approve of myself.

• My life is a gift.

• I will surround myself with positive

• people who will bring out the best in me.

• I release my negative thoughts, embracing positivity and optimism.

• I am healthy, happy, and confident.

• Today I choose me.

• I am worthy of infinite compassion.

• I feel profound empathy and love for others and myself.

• I speak with confidence because the world needs my light.

• My inner dialog is kind and loving.

• Whenever I am feeling good, I am attracting good.

• Today I choose to listen to the voice of my soul.

• I have everything I need within myself.

• I accept and love myself fully.

• I release the need to judge myself and my body.

• I deserve to feel proud of myself.