Living here on the earth plane can be a pretty scary experience. Somewhere in the recesses of our spiritual memories, we remember what it was like to be immortal. We didn’t have a physical, biological form to worry about. We knew we would never age, get sick and eventually die. Yet, for some reason we were all intrigued with the possibility of experiencing all of those things. Why? Why would we want to leave the security and predictability of our immortal experience and come to a place that is far from predictable and actually down right frightening at times.

The question is not easy to answer and even if we have an inner knowing of why, we find it very hard to articulate. I suppose all I can do is give you my perspective based on my experience and the inner work I have down over the years. In the past, I did not consider myself to be a very courageous or fearless person. In fact, my older daughter once told me, “Mom, you’re afraid of everything.” I quickly and defensively quipped back, “No I’m not!” My other daughter told me, “Mom, you’re such a control freak.” Again, I protested, “How can you say that? I certainly am not.”

Their words gave me pause. I had done a lot of things in my life that one might consider brave. However, those decisions only came after either I had no other choice, or because the pain of the present circumstance became greater than the fear of the unknown, so I was forced to face the dark, ominous road ahead. I learned over the years that overcoming fear has less to do with courage and more to do with faith.

I was afraid, I finally admitted. I felt powerless and as if I had little control over a lot the potential hazards that could be waiting for me just around the corner. So, I tried with every ounce of strength I had to control my outer circumstances in order to avoid all the “stuff” I was afraid might happen. The problem with that way of operating is that choices made from fear as the motivation rarely lead to a peaceful and self-satisfying end. Most of the time they just lead to more opportunities for us to make choices based on love rather than fear. This cycle will continue until we finally get the message and let go of fear and begin to have faith. I was a slow learner. Eventually, fear, for me, became a vice around my mind and my spirit that kept me from breaking free and living my best life. If nothing else, I am persistent. I was determined to find answers, so I turned my focus inward.

The last thirty plus years of being on a spiritual path have given me many blessings and have enabled me to completely change the outer circumstances of my life. I left and unhealthy and abusive marriage and discovered a wonderful man who is kind and loving. I became a massage therapist and a spiritual teacher. The truths I teach about are things I believe deep into the core of my being. Love was my life’s motivation and my entire message to the world. Yet, my lurking, relentless nemesis was my fear of being powerless to prevent tragedy from striking my life or the lives of those I love. It put up roadblocks whenever I thought I was about to find to antidote to my personal poison.

I thought about the above question. Why would we want to leave a world where we have no fear and there is no suffering to come to a place where we are weak human creatures with limitations that seemed to prevent us from having very little power at all? The answer came in segments and with more than one conclusive answer. The main one, for me, however, is because we needed to learn the difference between internal power and external power. Internal power is mindful and teaches us to draw from the energy of our soul which is fueled by faith and motivated by love. It is inclusive and unifying. External power is mindless, ego-driven and urges us to use our power to subvert the will of others for our own end. It is exclusive and divisive.

We are beings of light created by an omnipotent Creator. Our Mother/Father God is all powerful with no beginning and no end. We, as his children and his heirs inherit that power, and the legacy it bestows upon us. We have a responsibility to learn how to use our innate and genetic power, so to speak, in order to build upon the love generated by each and every soul ever created. We are each accountable for putting the unity of the one energy that binds us together ahead of any individual desire to be “more special” than any other. We are all special and yet, none of us is special. When we cease to understand this, we can easily break from “the One” and become a cancer that wreaks havoc on the health and well-being of us all.

The earth plane gives us an opportunity to test our commitment to that end. Do we embrace our internal power or the external one? Experiencing the limitations of inhabiting a physical body prone to injury, illness, and death enables us to either believe we are powerless unless we seek to control others and the world, or powerful simply because our power comes from love and there is nothing more powerful than that.

I have learned that by facing my fears head on, I am free to fully step into my powerful immortal self. Avoiding them, keeps me stuck in a frail and powerless mindset and always poised and anticipating the next potential blow and threat to my mortality and survival. I tried the avoidance road and it only led to more fear and less power. Once I decided I was tired of being afraid and turned faced down my fears with the courage and faith of my soul, I found I was far more powerful than I thought. Most everything I feared was all a made-up story in my head concocted by my out-of-control ego and almost none of it was real. I wasted so much time and energy manipulating and controlling my life in order to stay safe that I wasn’t really living at all.

I realized, or actually came to terms with for example, that avoiding doctors and tests to avoid a scary diagnosis doesn’t prevent an illness from developing. Worry and stress over thinking something deadly might be brewing inside of my body could cause far more detriment to my overall health. When I finally broke free from the shackles and chains of mindless fear, I felt light as air. Years of avoidance and worry led to a freedom that was liberating and expansive. In fact, I learned that I was perfectly healthy despite my chronic aches and pains that come with 67 years of living. My fear and avoidance were senseless and debilitating. My faith and soulful courage were empowering and healing. I can’t say with 100% certainty that fear is done messing with me and I will not fall victim sometime in the future. I am human. However, I have a whole arsenal of mindful tools to help me stay present, open, and courageous. The memory of how powerful a weapon love is when faced with any and all fear will support me, and my faith in my Mother /Father God will see me through and offer me peace now and forever.

Fear does have many faces, but they share the same malignant energetic body. Yet, whatever we fear has no power over the love that will sustain us for eternity. In this life we can allow fear to drive us to abuse external power or embrace love enabling us to bring forth internal power and make positive, light-filled changes in the world. In the process our soul will have grown in leaps and bounds and we will return home with a contented smile and a peaceful spirit … not to mention a congratulatory fist bump or high five from our awesome team of light.